So i guess it all started when i was at my dads for Christmas holidays. A lot of things happened inside of me there. I read some books about purity and God and i changed my opinions on some of those topics. I had told my boyfriend that i would be going to his house on new years and while i was excited when we made the plan, now i was kind of dreading it.
On Wednesday i get a message from the guy who was giving me a ride to London to see my boyfriend. He told me that he was leaving a day early. I asked my dad if he could give me a ride to my house the following morning. Then he started talking to me about how he was hoping i would change my mind about going and i was making a wrong decision. After that, i cried for hours. I can't be his perfect daughter. I have already don things i am not proud of and i cant erase them. I decided i was going to go anyways.
the next morning i was driven home. I unpacked and then re-packed. My sister was visiting so i hung out with them for awhile and then i was off again. I was already missing home because i hadn't been there in a week but i told myself to grow up and go have some fun. I got to my boyfriends house. We made supper and played video games for awhile. I told him that i didn't want to have sex with him. He said that it was okay but he didn't really understand it. I tried to explain it to him but it was difficult. While i was there he kept trying to change my mind but as soon as i said no he would stop bugging me about it. I thought that it was gonna work out.
A couple days after i came back to my house we were texting and ended up talking about my decision. He told me that i was being ridiculous and i should reconsider. He told me all good relationships need sex. We argued for a good three hours. After that i told him i was going to a friends house. I needed to clear my head.
Afterwards, he apologized to me and i felt a little better.
The next day i was sitting in french class when my phone starts vibrating. I look at it and it's a text from my boyfriend. 1 out of 9. I ask to go to the washroom while the rest of the texts come in. I read them all. He told me that he couldn't live with not having sex because he is still young and it doesn't make sense for him not to. I asked him if he was breaking up with me. He said no. We argued for awhile and then he asked me to choose between him or "my silly idea". I was beyond hurt at this point. I chose my silly idea.
I'm happy with my decision now. I feel so great about myself. I just thought i'd let you all know that its not bad to lose the one you care about if you are choosing what you believe in. It's not worth it to live unhappily just for someone else.