Friday, May 24, 2013
To me, writing seems like something to do when you're sad, or upset about something. When you have a problem. That doesn't always have to be true though, does it? Today, I'm going to write just because.
For the past while, life has been so good. I have very few complaints and I am surrounded by amazing people who i love with all my heart. I have a loving boyfriend who listens to me and we now have our own apartment together.
I have a new job that I look forward to going to everyday, I'm helping raise a baby boy who is the light of my life. The people I work for are simply amazing, they are generous, kind, thoughtful and just all around good people. I have never seen them fight or get upset although, it wouldn't make them any less in my eyes if they did. They have accepted me into their family after working for them for just 8 months.
I call my mom almost everyday. Sometimes i get frustrated with her but otherwise we are very close and can talk about anything. She gives me good advice and I listen to her troubles and try to help out as best i can. She is the best mom that anyone could ask for.
I feel a lot older than i am. I'm not sure if this is good or bad, but i'm glad i don't party, or cause drama, or fight with my parents. Sometimes i feel like i should do those things, i'm almost 20 and i feel like i'm closer to 30 sometimes. Maybe i should make stupid, impulsive decisions? Would it make my life more exciting? Is my life okay as it is? Could it be better? The most i've done was get drunk on victoria day weekend. It wasn't really any fun. Maybe i'll stick to being grown up.
I sort of conflicted about my life right now, on one hand, I have everything i need and i'm the happiest i've ever been in a long, long time. But on the other hand, is there anything more? I feel like i should take the next step in my life, whatever that may be. But will change be good? Or ruin everything that I have now? Nick wants to go to school, and I'm so happy for him but at the same time i'm scared of what will happen to our life together. But i guess thats what you do in life, you take the next steps, you change and adapt.
Humans are full of greed, is anyone ever truly and completely happy? Or could they use more money? more power? more family? better job? better car? some more food? a better place to live? It seems as if we are always looking for something better instead of seeing what we have now. What we should appreciate before it gets ripped out of our lives forever. Cherish the times with your family, be thankful for your job, be happy that you have somewhere to live. Life could be a lot worse, we live on an amazing, beautiful planet, filled with out every need. And yet, we still want more. What happens when there is no more? Nothing left to gain? Will you be happy then? when everyone else has nothing and your planet is falling apart?
This post started out happy, but as writing for me goes, it made me think. And i think that everyone else should take a good long look at their lives. Decide what's truly important. Because one day, you might have nothing.